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Why do you think a lot of employees leave their managers instead of their jobs? Who do you think some leaders have no follower? Simply because the employees who left have an unefficient and uneffective leaders! A real leader must equipped at least with the below traits:

1. Competence - They know what they are talking about. They know their job, their business, their environment, even their organisation from bottom up.
2. Fairness - They do not play favourism. They reward their employees based on actual performance. They know what is actually happening. They are able to manage, evaluate and reward.
3. Integrity - They walk the talk. They lead from the front. They set themselves as a model to their employees. They step forward rather than shy away when a tough tasks need to be done. They responsible on any important decision that they made. They never demand from their employees what they can’t do.
4. Protection - They place the needs of their employees above theirs. They hold their employees’ welfare first and foremost in their mind. They make decisions that protect their employees, not to put them im unnecessary danger for their personal gain or ambitions.

What kind of people that you can’t stand the most? People who are negative? Aggressive? Passive? How about yourself? Do you examine whether there is some behaviors of yours that people cannot stand? Definitely yes, as everybody is somebody’s difficult person at least some of the time.

Go through the below checklist of top 10 difficult behaviors identified by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner in their book "Dealing with People You Can’t Stand". Identify which one you can’t stand the most, and which behavior of yours made people can’t stand the most.

• The Tank

The Tank is confrontational, pointed, and angry, the ultimate in pushy and aggressive behavior.

• The Sniper

Whether through rude comments, biting sarcasm, or a well-timed roll of the eyes, making you look foolish is the Sniper’s specialty.

• The Grenade

After a brief period of calm, the Grenade explodes into unfocused ranting and raving about things that have nothing to do with the present circumstances.

• The Know-It-All

Seldom in doubt, the Know-It-All has a low tolerance for correction and contradiction. If something goes wrong, the Know-It-All will speak with the same authority about who’s to blame — you!

• They-Think-They-Know-It-All

People with this behavior can’t fool all the people of all of the time, but they can fool some of the people enough of the time, and enough of the people all of the time — all for the sake of getting some attention.

• The Yes Person

In an effort to please people and avoid confrontation, Yes People say "yes" without thinking things through. They react to the latest demands on their time by forgetting prior commitments, and over commit until they have no time for themselves.

• The Maybe Person 

In a moment of decision, the Maybe Person procrastinates in the hope that a better choice will present itself.

• The Nothing Person

No feedback, no nonverbal feedback, no facial expression, no response. Nothing.

• The No Person

The No Person is able to defeat a big idea with a single syllable. The No Person fights for a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness and despair.

• The Whiner

Whiners feel helpless and overwhelmed by an unfair world. Their standard is perfection, and no one and nothing measures up to it. They offer solutions makes you bad company, so their whining escalates.

The following are some tips on overcoming your fear of business writing:

1. Be confidence - Just because you didn’t major in English doesn’t mean you can’t write effectively. If you are confident in your job and expertise, you shouldn’t afraid to show it. A confident tone will give your reader confidence in the information you are providing.
2. Keep it Simple - You could have the best idea in the world, but if there are too much extraneous words and unrelated information, no one will ever know it. Stick to the point and don’t belabor it.
3. Keep It Short - No one has the desire or time to read a five-page memo. Writing something that is too long is the best way to ensure that it never get read. Keep your document as short as possible without sacrificing its meaning.
4. Know Your Audience Before You Start Writing - Think about who will be reading your document. If you are in a technical position but your readers are not, avoid using jargon and overly technical terms. Do not try to impress your readers with big words or complicated concepts. They will be much more appreciative if you have not wasted their time.
5. Anticipate Questions - After you have written a draft of your document, reread it as if you were the person receiving it. What questions would you be most likely to ask? Go back and answer them in your rewrite. If your draft raises too many questions, return to commandment 2.

You joined a company, got two promotions within three years time. You were handling three major portfolios. You were doing well.

The manager who appreciated you left. The new manager came in. Based on the previous manager’s good recommendation and your own ability, the new manager also recognised your good work. However, he has his own style. He expanded the department by bringing more staff in. Instead of handling few portfolio, you are handling one now. You are not workaholic, but you like productivity. You like to learn new things, you like challenges and get satisfaction from there. Now, with more staff sharing the same volume of work, you feel less productive, you feel lack of enthusiasm, you feel that you are handling the repetitive processes without positive results. These manifestations, when combined, leave you in a state of confusion. Confusion over your future. Confusion over which step to take next. These are the symptoms of stagnant career syndrome.

So, how do you respond to stagnant career syndrome? First of all, do not concentrate on failures only. Identify the things that are working. They may not be producing results at the level you desire but they are contributing positively to your career goals. However, you should also identify the things that are not working. Try to change the ways of handling these not-working things according to the new working style of your new manager.

Secondly, perhaps you may take this opportunity to obtain additional education or skillsets to add your own market values for your future career path. Do not allow the syndrome set back your career goal.

However, it could be the processes you are doing are appropriate yet the environment does not support your success. If the environment is not appropriate for the desired results, nothing will ever develop. After all, this analysis the only change required may be a change in your environment. Recognise the situation for what it is and apply your skillsets in a new environment. You may have no idea how great the success will be. Take advantage of opportunities and resources available may be all that is need to cure Stagnant Career Syndrome!

Your adrenaline flows, your heart rate increases, your blood pressure escalates, your face turns red, and your voice raises. Yes, you are in anger! Whatever the case, anger is not the problem. The problem with anger is that many of us do not learn to manage anger effectively.

Usually people will act on their anger by either suppressing it or expressing it. Suppressing your anger may lead you to believe you have it under control. However, suppressing anger does not solve your problem and is a dangerous type of anger management. Suppressed anger stays with you over time and can lead to mental health problem such as depression, and physical problem such as high blood pressure.

Anger needs to be expressed. Yet, aggressive displays of anger can result in violent eruptions that further hurt you socially, mentally and physically. The goal of anger management is to help you to find the right ways to express your anger and get your anger under control. There are many ways but these are few good with immediate effects ones:

1. Breath deep. Taking a few deep breaths calms you, makes you feel stronger both mentally and physically.

2. Count to ten. Counting to ten helps you to step back from the situation, buys time for you to examine the problem and decide on an effective, rational way to express your anger.

3. Give yourself a break. It’s easier to think when you are calm. Leave the room, take a walk, then come back to the problem, examine it, and solve it.

4. Use humours to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or other person in silly situations. Do not use sarcasm - it is just another form of unhealthy expression.

: )

Now and then a good one comes around…

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet.

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush.

Stress may trigger anger. Stress is often the trigger that takes us from feeling peaceful to experiencing uncomfortable angry feelings. Stress is most easily defined as a series of bodily responses to demands made upon us, called stressors. Stressors can be negative (such as coping with a driver who cuts in front of you), external (such as work pressure) or internal (such as feeling guilty about something that you did).

Understanding how does stress come about, scientists have discovered that the major systems of the body work together to provide one of the human organism’s mist powerful defenses, that help us to cope with stressors, before our stress response turns into anger or aggression.

Among the strategies are, read your personal warning lights. Becoming aware of your stress response, which means listening to your body, being aware of your negative emotions, and observing your own behavior when under stress.

Secondly, try to gain a new perspective on the stressing situation. By doing this, our stress response can indeed be a response (controllable) instead of reaction (automatic).

Next, stress-guard your life, by making necessary life-style changes to reduce or minimize feeling stressed-out. For instance, manage your time / money better,  or consider changing your job or occupation.

Stress will easily turn into anger if they are not handled properly, therefore, it is important to recognise these stress responses and develop techniques to lessen the impact.

Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as stubbornness, procrastination, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible. It is a defense mechanism and, more often than not, only partly conscious. (Source: Wikipedia)

People who tend to be passive-aggressive are not typically open to receive suggestions for how to do things. When a passive-aggressive person is given a suggestion or an alternative way to do something, they will generally avoid doing the task in that way out of spite for the person who gives the suggestion. Oftentimes, passive-aggressive people will resent people who offer advice and suggestions. Even if somebody offers another way, they will resist it despite the fact that it might be a better option.

Passive-aggressive people also have a unique way of interacting with others. They may seem excessively paranoid or overly sensitive about what people are saying. They might also feel that everybody "has it in for them" and nobody wants them to be happy. If they can find a way to blame others, they can shirk off the responsibility for creating their own emotions through their actions. They might be easily offended because they will take the things that people say to them and misconstrue them into a personal attack. This behavior has trained others around them to avoid communication. The passive-aggressive person will blame the lack of communication on others rather than themselves.

Dealing with a passive-aggressive person can cause you to be irritated and even angry because of their inherent stubbornness and lack of concern. The first rule for dealing with a passive-aggressive personality is to refrain from getting into a power struggle. The have had a lifetime of practice in doing this and you probably will not win this struggle. In the end, you will likely end up being frustrated and the other person will feel like they have won a battle against you.

Next, do not let the passive-aggressive person get to you. They usually know how to irritate you until you become frustrated. Once you have become irritated and frustrated, you lose any edge that you may have with them.

Then, describe their passive-aggressive behavior in a calm and rational manner. They will likely deny that and say that it is merely your perception, but putting them on the defensive will often makes them back down. Trying to see the argument from their point of view will help you debate with them with more success.

Finally, ask the passive-aggressive person how they would solve or improve the situation, instead of having somebody else makes the major decisions, and the passive-aggressive person to place the blame if something goes wrong.

Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue! People are getting exhausted by having to handle too much things within 24 hours. Working people are looking for work-life balance while trying to comply with the organisation’s expectation for a high performance workforce. According to Schwartz and McCarthy, longer days at the office don’t work because time is a limited resource, but personal energy is renewable. By fostering simple rituals that help employees regularly replenish their energy, which include, taking brief breaks at specific intervals, expressing appreciation to others, reducing interruptions, and spending more time on activities people do best and enjoy most, will assist to build workers’ physical, emotional and mental resilience.

Schwartz and McCarthy further recommend the following practices for renewing four dimensions of personal energy:

1. Physical Energy

- Enhance your sleep by setting an earlier bedtime and reducing alcohol ise.

- Reduce stress by engaging in cardiovascular activity at least three times a week and strength training at least once.

- Eat small meals and light snacks every three hours.

- Learn to notice signs of imminent energy flagging, including restlessness, yawning, hunger, and difficulty concentrating.

- Take brief but regular breaks, away from your desk, at 90- to 120-minute intervals throughout the days.

2. Emotional Energy

- Defuse negative emotions — irritability, impatience, anxiety, insecurity; through deep abdominal breathing.

- Fuel positive emotions in yourself and others by regularly expressing appreciation to others in detailed, specific terms through noties, emails, calls, or conversations.

- Looking at upsetting situations through new lenses — reverse lens, "What would other person in this conflict say, and how might he be right?"; long lens, "How will I likely view this situation in six months?"; and wide lens, "How can I grow and learn from this situation?".

3. Mental Energy

- Reduce interruptions by performing high-concentration tasks away from phones and e-mail.

- Respond to voice mails and e-mails at designated times during the day.

- Every night, identify the mist important challenge for the next day. Then make it your first priority when you arrive at work in the morning.

4. Spiritual Energy

- Identify your "sweet spot" activities — those that give you feelings of effectiveness, effortless absorption, and fulfillment. Find ways to do more of these.

- Allocate time and energy to what you consider most important. For example, spend the last 20 minutes of your evening commute relaxing, so you can connect with your family once you’re home.